Balancing Work and Personal

If you had told me a year ago, that I would be able to have a coding session where any problem I got stuck on, could be immediately mitigated through the use of an integrated agent that could not only find the answer, but implement the answer, I'm sure I would have jumped for joy and told you to sign me up. Though typically I am not an early adopter to such things. But the amount of friction that I remember facing as a junior dev. And honestly I wouldn't be where I am in terms of understanding without AI assisting my questions and intejecting where I get lost.

However, the feedback loops are so short now, it is pointless for me in a way to be part of it at all... when you don't have the objectives straight.

When I was working before, computer science and web development was this massive hill I wanted to climb. So much so, that any advantage I could get I would greedily and happily take in order to get to the next level. And it felt like things were setup this way. The job market was competitive and places like my bootcamp instilled in me this idea that it was how well you could posture. It effectively blurred the line between knowing and understanding and producing. And that's what jobs and productivity does. Peak productivity reduces the problem to eliminate the need for human hands and labor. And AI is doing that. Not because it is magical, but because it is able to extend itself across everyone's work environment to understand the objectives and goals beyond what any single person could generate on their own.

And because of this being the way that I was "raised" in this world. I didn't really learn to love it the way that earlier developers learned to love HTML, CSS and JS. Where there wasn't this arms race to do it better. And of course as a developer, even in my personal projects, it would be "stupid" to not utilize these tools. Why would I put hands to keyboard IF my objective is just to produce.

In fact, I can go now on to my Youtube Shorts channel and see people that have never done anything with a line a code in their life develop software using these optimized processes that AI has created.

And so where does that leave me?

Likely, the point of software for me was never to be the best producer of code. Because "best" implies some external judge. Or for me - being a well-compensated developer. Being that would imply that I had accumulated enough skill to be well-compensated. But right now that is definitely not true. I can't even remember syntax for basic React. Because I have never needed to. Even when I was working at DRSQ before AI became a tool, I learned to blend in. I learned to copy and paste intelligently. See existing patterns and add to them. I wasn't generating, I was extending.

And now the line is completely blurred. I don't think I have engaged meaningfully at all in my job. In the last year at DRSQ and now within Plaud. I have been a conduit that can at least read code, but that's about it. It isn't required for me to write it. In fact, it is more of a liability for me to write my own code from a company's POV because I might miss something. From their POV, I should just learn AI to a point that I can be that type of service to them. Translate ideas well.

And that is probably fine with me, but if I continue to conflate these 2 skills - reading and translating as well as generating, then I will always feel this guilt of not doing "my job" at Plaud or as a full stack engineer.

They are 2 different brains. Both valid, but I am so stubbornly thinking "well i should be producing" and then when I am not doing that, but telling myself I am doing that, then I end up diverging in my production and my brain telling myself that I am producing

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